1. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things, literally.
Why it’s funny: Kleptomaniacs are people who have an urge to steal, so they take or steal things all the time. So in this joke – kleptomaniacs always TAKE (steal) things, literally.
2. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?Why it’s funny: Rhetorical questions are statements that are formulated as a question but that is not supposed to be answered.
3. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?” The first logician says “I don’t know.” The second logician says “I don’t know.” The third logician says “Yes!”
Why it’s funny: A Logician would answer any question asked to him in yes, no or I don’t know because of insufficient data. In this joke the first 2 logicians don’t know if the third one will have it, so they reply I don’t know. As in if any one of them would not have wanted to drink they would reply in, "No," but since they replied I don’t know, it means they want to but they don’t know about the others. The third one knows from their replies that the first 2 want to and he also wants to so he replies, "YES".
4. Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. It’s Einstein’s turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims, ”Newton! I found you! You’re it!” Newton smiles and says “You didn’t find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!”
Why it’s funny: The two fingers make the shape of “V”, which means 5 in Roman.
2. What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?Why it’s funny: Rhetorical questions are statements that are formulated as a question but that is not supposed to be answered.
3. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?” The first logician says “I don’t know.” The second logician says “I don’t know.” The third logician says “Yes!”
Why it’s funny: A Logician would answer any question asked to him in yes, no or I don’t know because of insufficient data. In this joke the first 2 logicians don’t know if the third one will have it, so they reply I don’t know. As in if any one of them would not have wanted to drink they would reply in, "No," but since they replied I don’t know, it means they want to but they don’t know about the others. The third one knows from their replies that the first 2 want to and he also wants to so he replies, "YES".
4. Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and go seek. It’s Einstein’s turn to count so he covers his eyes and starts counting to ten. Pascal runs off and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square on the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten and uncovers his eyes. He sees Newton immediately and exclaims, ”Newton! I found you! You’re it!” Newton smiles and says “You didn’t find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!”
Why it’s funny: The Pascal (symbol: Pa) is the SI derived unit of pressure, internal pressure, stress, Young’s modulus and tensile strength. It is a measure of force per unit area, defined as one Newton per square meter. So 1 Pa = 1 N/meter^2.
5. A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said “this is pointless” and stormed off’. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out “don’t you see, you’ll never actually reach her?” To which the engineer replied, “So what? Pretty soon I’ll be close enough for all practical purposes!”
5. A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said “this is pointless” and stormed off’. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out “don’t you see, you’ll never actually reach her?” To which the engineer replied, “So what? Pretty soon I’ll be close enough for all practical purposes!”
Why it’s funny: The mathematician immediately comes to know that theoretically it’s impossible to reach, but engineer knows he can get close enough.
6. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”Why it’s funny: Most words that end in “us” are pluralized by changing the “us” to and “i” (e.g. cactus –> cacti, genius –> genii, Stimulusàstimuli). And most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of “martini” as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a “martinus”.
7. Another Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.
6. A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”Why it’s funny: Most words that end in “us” are pluralized by changing the “us” to and “i” (e.g. cactus –> cacti, genius –> genii, Stimulusàstimuli). And most of those words have Latin roots. So the Latin scholar thinks of “martini” as being plural, so he singularises it by calling it a “martinus”.
7. Another Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.
Why it’s funny: The two fingers make the shape of “V”, which means 5 in Roman.
From bhavinionline
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